Creating God In My Image

Revisionism is in vogue these days. We revise history to fit our biases. We can also revise the very heart and soul of Jesus' intent by insisting on OUR way of doing life and religion. I've created a couple examples of gospel revisionism.

Jesus' words: "You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.' But I tell you, Do not resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also. And if someone wants to sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well. If someone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you."

Revised version: " You have heard that it was said, 'Eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth." I tell you to go for it, even if you end up blind and toothless. I tell you, resist an evil person. If someone strikes you on the right cheek, you don't have to take that from anybody--tap him out. And if someone wants to sue you, drag his butt into court before he can even spell "litigation." If someone forces you to go one mile kick your heels into the ground and his groin for two miles. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Remember, you will have the last laugh; payback shall be yours. After you have gotten revenge, rejoice and be glad because it feels so good here on earth and great is your reward in heaven."

Jesus' words: "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? And if you greet only your brothers, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that? Be perfect, therefore, as your heavenly Father is perfect.

Revised version: " You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' I tell you-- you have heard correctly. Hate your enemies and prey upon those who persecute you, that you may be pawns of your culture on earth. God causes his sun to rise on the good people and earthquakes and hurricanes to fall upon the evil ones. If you love those who hate you, where will that get you? What's the reward in that? And it is all about you, after all. And if you greet only your brothers it's a lot safer. Do not even pagans do that? Catch on!! Be perturbed, therefore, just as your heavenly Father is perturbed."

The Farce of Forgiveness: Why Didn't I Blow Him Away?

(If you haven't read my 6-13 -2010 blog, The Freedom of Forgiveness, please read it and then proceed with this.)

Having read that blog, a friend asked me, "In light of what he did to your daughter, why didn't you follow through with your wishes--and kill him?" It wasn't because I didn't want to. It wasn't because of a lack of love for my daughter. It wasn't because he was remorseful and begged our forgiveness (actually,he never even acknowledged that it happened; he denied everything.)

So, why didn't I, at the very least, take batting practice with his head, if not kill him?
There are layers of answers to that question. I believe it was Carl Sandburg who likened life to an onion in that "you peel it off one layer at a time, and sometimes you weep." There has certainly been weeping in the process of peeling.

I didn't brutalize or kill him because I was chicken. Big thoughts, little action. Loud bark, no bite. I was afraid that regardless of how elaborately I schemed the perfect revenge, I would, nonetheless, be apprehended. I would end up spending years--decades?-- in prison while he would never see the inside of a cell. And I'm also a chicken when it comes to hangin' out with the inmates; boys will be boys and boys will do boys. So there--I was afraid of getting caught. And, to tell you the truth, I'm not sure I would have had the courage to whack him off even if I were handed the opportunity.

I didn't kill him, even if I could have gotten away with it, because my "high"view of him would not allow me to do so. Don't get me wrong: there were many days when I held a very "low" view of him and on those days if I had let myself see him only as a scumbag, I could have squashed him like a fly. But, as sick and cruel as he was, and likely is, he still bears the imago dei--the image of God. He is still person, not puss. He is still a father himself. He is still a human being who did inhumane things to my daughter. Yes, that imago dei is tarnished, warped and skewed, but he is still an image-bearer. Who am I to extinguish the life of another human being? There is something of incalculable value, something of priceless intrinsic worth in another human being, whether that person is diabolical or divine. Seeing him in that manner did not allow me to do harm.

I didn't harm or kill him because as a Christ follower I believe that to have done so would be a contradiction of essence, a violation of the essence of what it means to follow Christ. It is beyond me, i.e. I have not become this yet, but we are called to be people who "love your enemy," people who "bless those who persecute you," people who "do not take revenge. . . but leave room for God's wrath," people who are not "overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good." (Matt. 5:44; Rom. 12:14-21.) That is not yet who I am; it is who I aspire to be. That disposition is, in fact, the opposite of my natural inclinations. That disparity between who I am and who, as a Christ follower, I desire to be is one of the things that has made these years so difficult. My natural inclination says, "Destroy the !!#*?^!!!!" Jesus Christ, on the other hand, beckons if not directs me to somehow, in spite of my rage and tears, to love and forgive the !!#?^!!!! (Notice how I still place myself above this man and speak of him in disparaging terms?) Like I said, I'm not there yet. But it is a loving and forgiving person that I aspire to be.

I didn't harm or kill him because I am not totally convinced that he is fundamentally all that different from me. No, I didn't do what he did. On a behavioral level, he and I are not the same. I am superior, thank you. But on a level of the soul and psyche I have had thoughts, I have entertained desires that are as dark as the coffin in which they and my body will be contained, never to see the light of day. There have been times when I have been in the throes of either fiery rage or excruciating hurt and my mind has entertained thoughts that have spun my head in disbelief. "Where did that come from?!?" Thoughts or desires that feel as though they were not only hell-bent but hell-sent. You will be relieved, as am I, that those moments are aberrations, not the norm. However, the fact they even exist and careen around the some days hallowed-- other days hellish-- halls of my psyche is terribly sobering and disconcerting. The reality of those thoughts and desires that still clamor for attention begets a humility and serves to prevent me from seizing my deceptive and grandiose moral superiority and destroying all others whom I would regard as less and lower than me, which would comprise the entire rest of the human population.

And so I let him live while I learn to forgive.

The Homeless can be Heartless

We got burnt. As some of you know, our church serves the homeless a fantastic breakfast out of our tiny church office downtown. (See a prior blog, Jan.10, The Clueless Serving the Homeless.)
It's tiny, cramped quarters and at 7:00a.m. we open the doors and 70+ men and women come pouring in. Last week, one of them began making a scene and wouldn't de-escalate so I approached him and told him he had two options: calm down or he'd have to leave. He responded, "Oh, so you want to play hard-ball!" Time passed and one of our team-members saw him on his cellphone and 10 minutes later the fire marshal showed up, saying someone had complained about so many people being in a small space. This past week the fire marshal met with our pastor and determined that occupancy is 49. Our teams average about 10 people, so to be safe we now have to let 35 in while the others stand outside in the cold.

Yeh, it could just be a coincidence; maybe he was calling his mother to wish her Happy Valentine's Day. I confronted him privately, and, of course, he denied everything. He didn't acknowledge he had called the fire marshal; but neither did he claim he called his mother.

Why would you do that to people who week in and week out have provided you food and clothing? Why would you jeopardize your fellow-homeless peers by taking an action that could have potentially shout down the entire operation? I'll never know.

This I know. We will continue to serve him. Though he made a terribly misguided decision, he, nonetheless, still needs food and clothing. We began this outreach and will continue to serve not because of the warm, appreciative response or outcome but because (1) Christ has called us to do so (2) these individuals have a desperate need which we can meet.

At this point, I do not FEEL warmly toward him or loving of him. I want to shove him against the wall and scream, "What the hell are you doin', you ungrateul slob!?!") (Again, see my prior blog which will explain a lot.)

I have had this stark "awakening": my attitude of and desire for revenge is no different than his. My desire to take matters into my own hands is no less misguided than the decision he made. My anger is no less toxic than his.
So I back off and,instead, I DO loving things for him in spite of, at the moment, having loathing feelings.

Sometimes, those serving the homeless can be heartless, too.