Hopefully the following will provide you some screening guidelines to evaluate your relationship with your spouse or significant other. Many are serious in nature; many will ruin any hopes of me being a guest expert on Dr. Phil.
*Do I feel like I am both their friend and their lover—or just their lover?
*Do my opinions matter—or do I spend more time listening to theirs? Conversely, am I having to do all the talking in an effort to make this happen?
*His back hair reminds you of the English sheepdog you had as a child.
*Am I being given time for the relationship to develop—or am I being pressured to commit?
*For Valentine’s Day he got you the Biggest Loser wii.
*Do I hear affirming words from them, but see something different, or does what I hear them say match how they treat me?
*You don’t want to hurt his feelings. How do you tell him the negligee is beautiful—just not on him?
*In conflict situations, do they consistently win/get their way? Do you?
*She loves to talk. . . and talk. . . and talk. . . and, dear God, if she doesn’t button it I could end up on the 10:00 news.
*Do you find yourself minimizing their behavior? e.g. “(s)he doesn’t drink that much.” “At least he doesn’t hit me.”
*Am I frequently being asked where I was, who I was with, what I was doing, why did it take so long?
*You wanted a more physical relationship, so she took steroids and is now a defensive lineman for the Packers.
*Does (s)he respect your sexual boundaries/values, or do you find yourself being pressured to go beyond them?
*Typically, a woman’s word-count is much more than a man’s each day. He’s up to 117 words—not for the day; for his lifetime.
*Do I truly like or love this person, or is it the security of the relationship that attracts me?
* Does touch usually serve as a prelude to sex, or are you giving and receiving touch without expectation of further sexual activity?
*He’s successful, financially solid, and draws six figures. Usually with crayons.