Thursday, September 16, 2010

Grandparents: They're "Special"

Who knew?? September 12 was National Grandparents Day. I mean, it's not like it ranks up there with Christmas or Halloween. "Let's see. . . Christmas is Dec. 25 and Halloween is Oct. 31 and Grandparents Day? Of course, the first Sunday after Labor Day. EVERYBODY knows that!"

My wife and I did receive a card from a particular grandson. In six year old style printing he wrote that he loves us, and then a p.s.

"Diaper boy--You are weird. Nana--your hair smells like bacon."

An explanation. I'm confident that in referring to me as "Diaper boy," it is not a term of derision he has concocted, but an expression of affection and appreciation. I'm still not sure where he came up with that. On the other hand, maybe he found out, even though I'm very careful; when he's visiting I always go out of my way and inconvenience myself by wearing pants over my Depends. So, how would he know?

And I take "weird" to be a compliment, as well. Weird as in "not being like everybody else, but standing above the boring crowd." Weird as in strangely wonderful. Weird as in uniquely fantastic. Not weird as in "what's up with Papa?" Not weird as in "Why does he act like that?" Never weird like

As to his reference to his grandma's hair smelling like bacon. I've repeatedly told her that the daily porkchop she straps on top of her head is not stylish and that people are not gawking in admiration. But I can't convince her. Monday through Saturday, a chop on top. And Sunday? She dresses up for church. Filet Mignon.

Well, she just yelled at me to crank up the Beltones, which means that she's been trying to get my attention for the past hour but I haven't heard a thing. We have to go to the store and get groceries. Me barefoot and in my Depends. Her and her porkchop. We'll spend the first 30 minutes talking with the WalMart greeter. You'd think it was a Kentucky family reunion.

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