“Most of Us Can Read the Writing on the Wall; We Just Assume It's Addressed to Someone Else --Ivern Ball

Once there was a group of people who surveyed the resources of the world and said to each other, "How can we be sure that we have enough in hard times?  We want to survive whatever happens. Let us start collecting food and knowledge so that we are safe and secure when a crisis occurs."  So they started hoarding so much and so eagerly that other people protested and said:  "You have much more than you need, while we don't have enough to survive.  Give us part of your wealth!"  But the fearful hoarders said:  "No, no, we need to keep this in case of an emergency, in case things go bad for us, too, in case our lives are threatened."  But the others said:  "We are dying now; please give us food and materials and knowledge to survive.  We can't wait; we need it now."  Then the fearful hoarders became even more fearful, since they became afraid that the poor and hungry would attack them.  So they said to one another:  "Let us build walls around our wealth so that no stranger can take it from us."  They started erecting walls so high that they could not even see anymore whether there were enemies outside the walls or not!  As their fear increased they told each other:  "Our enemies have become so numerous that they may be able to tear down our walls.  Our walls are not strong enough to keep them away.  We need to put explosives and barbed wire on top of the walls so that nobody will dare to even come close gto us."  Now instead of feeling safe and secure behind their armed walls they found themselves trapped in the prison they had  built with their own fear."         --Henri Nouwen

A sobering story.  A story that mirrors much.  What do you see?

Facing the Fear: The Prerequisite to Dream-Building

You have to take risks, he said.  We will only understand the miracle of life fully when we allow the unexpected to happen.
Every day, God gives us the sun--and also one moment in which we have the ability to change everything that makes us unhappy.  Every day, we try to pretend that we haven't perceived that moment, that it doesn't exist--that today is the same as yesterday and will be the same as tomorrow.  But if people really pay attention to their everyday lives, they will discover that magic moment.  It may arrive in the instant when we are doing something mundane, like putting our front-door key in the lock; it may lie hidden in the quiet that follows the lunch hour or in the thousand and one things that all seem the same to us.  But that moments exists--a moment when all the power of the stars becomes a part of us and enables us to perform miracles. 
Joy is sometimes a blessing, but it is often a conquest.  Our magic moment helps us to change and sends us off in search of our dreams.  Yes, we are going to suffer, we will have difficult times, and we will experience many disappointments--but all of this is transitory; it leaves no permanent mark.  And one day we will look back with pride and faith at the journey we have taken.
Pitiful is the person who is afraid of taking risks.  Perhaps this person will never be disappointed or disillusioned; perhaps she won't suffer the way people do when they have a dream to follow.  But when that person looks back--and at some point everyone looks back--she will hear her heart saying, "What have you done with the miracles that God planted in your days?  What have you done with the talents God bestowed on you?  You buried yourself in a cave because you were fearful. . .  So this is your heritage:  the certainty that you wasted your life."
Pitiful are the people who must realize this.  Because when they are finally able to believe in miracles, their life's magic moments will have already passed.
(excerpt from By the River Piedra I Sat down and Wept, by Paulo Coehlo)


Nearly four years ago I read this novel and here is what I journaled the day I came upon that  passage.  "This is so descriptive of me. . . afraid.  Afraid of launching out into new ministry, new dreams.  And this pictures my ultimate fear;  that I will reach old age, not having pursued and lived my dreams/God's calling.  Only possessing the certainty that I wasted my life.  God, give me courage and discernment.  The latter to know what and where and how you desire we spend the rest of our life together.  The former to go for it."


I look back and see the demanding nature of my insecurity then--wanting to know what, how, when, why, and where before making a move. Today--this season of my life--I can honestly say I'm going for it.  And it feels pretty good.  Really good, actually.   I'm not suggesting that there's a new me and I now refer to myself  as Braveheart;  maybe Tentative Toes, which is to say that fear is still present, along with every other feeling contained on the universal feeling vocabulary list.  But I'm going for it.  We are going for it.  My wife and I are leaving our predictable and secure careers and heading to Honduras for a three month trial-basis to serve the poor.  We will be working with Mercy International, the mission base I have served on short-term mission trips the past 10 years.  We will then return home and they will evaluate us and we them, and a decision will be made as to long-term relocation.


We will leave around the first of March.  This has been years in the making, years in summoning the courage and trust to do this.  Years of clinging to the false security of our comfort zone.  But now we are going for it. 


You have to take risks, he said.